Don't want to be alone today
cuz I want you more than words can say.
The perfect girl, you've got to be out there,
the one who won't really even care.
If I get drunk and piss on myself
and every day I smoke a pack of cigarettes,
and I have this dream involving my guitar
and frequently take trips to the nudey bar.

(chorus)
And I, promise to always be true
and I would never cheat on you.
I want to be the one who takes care of you
when you're feelin blue... the perfect girl!

Give me the chance, I swear I'll make it right.
When you leave I'll kiss you good night.
The perfect girl, you know we'll never fight,
because you think that it is alright
if I get drunk and piss on myself
and every day smoke a pack of cigarettes,
and have this dream involving my guitar
and frequently take trips to the nudey bar.

(repeat chorus 2